I have lived in Oakland my whole life. I have lived in poverty for
most of my life. I have worked since as far back as I can remember.

My story isn't strange or different. I am like many poor
people in the US. People you rarely hear from. Rarely consider. Hardly
see. This could why the County of Alameda is quietly considering a
proposal to cut off the meager General Assistance (GA) benefits given
to unemployed workers which will make our already difficult lives even
more difficult and eventually will kill us.

As a child, my mother, an immigrant from Haiti, struggled to
raise me and my sisters as a poor single mother. She worked two jobs
and I had to help take care of my sisters while she was at work. One
day a neighbor called Child Protective Services while she was at work
and the police came and put me and my sisters in foster homes. I never
saw my mother again.

I suffered severe abuse in those homes, those homes I was
placed in "for my best interests" and in many ways I have never
recovered. I tell you my life story because it informs who I am today.
A poor woman struggling to get, keep and hold down a job. A job that
pays me enough to live in the town I was born in. A town impacted by
gentrification, redevelopment and the rising cost of living.

I have been working since I was 14. I started with domestic
work and then graduated to fast food jobs. I trained to be a Certified
Nurses Assistant and straddled two jobs for over 14 years in this field
until I got a herniated disc and was laid up for over a month.

I am now on General Assistance and am seeking work. I also do
work just to get my benefits, unlike the mythology about welfare, there
is NO free money. We all work for our cash aid and food stamps. As
well, I look for work everyday but I am older now and face a lot of
covert ageism from prospective employers. They don't think I am "fit"
enough to do a job that involves caring for elders. I am not sure what
I can do.

If the County of Alameda proceeds with its plan to impose six
month time limits to receiving aid, many of us will starve, resort to
underground economies (crime), end up homeless, and/or get very sick
and the so-called "employable", yet obviously disabled, unemployed
workers who are on GA with me will surely die.

I have struggled my whole life, I am tired, and I am not sure
if I will make it through another crisis, but I really don't want to
die, which is why I am using my voice to tell the truth about this
deadly proposal.

Cullette X (not her real name) is a race and poverty
scholar enrolled in the Digital Resistance Media Program at POOR
Magazine's Race, Poverty and Media Justice Institute. Tiny is a Poverty
Scholar in residence at POOR Magazine/PoorNewsNetwork